Thursday, 21 August 2014

7 races for my facebook homies

about to start running a facebook d&d game. the theme is post-apocalyptic kung fu wizards. sort of a fist of the north star kind of thing i guess.

my previous homebrew d&d system had like 15 classes and 8 playable races, which i think we can all agree is pre ridick

my buddy Jack Mack is always saying how the best number of options is 5, plus or minus 2.

therefore - 7 classes, 7 races

gonna be appropriating this format and outright stealing this and this from zak smith, and probably anything else kung-fu related i run into in the blogosphere

typing this super quick before i go to bed, please forgive shorthands and eternal lower case

size table for ogres and gnomes (d4)
0: cute size +1 mutation
1: cute size (halfling/gnome height)
2. diminutive size (dwarf height)
3. human size (about 6 ft tall)
4. goliath size (8-10 ft tall)
5. goliath size +1 mutation

these races/classes definitely aren't balanced or whatever. mostly i'm just trying to take the old RPG archetypes and make them interesting for me.



banned class: shapechanger
no modifiers
special: you own a car or a smart phone. you have a bank account.

biology&culture: they're human
humans survive the apocalyptic wasteland in giant futuretech science-domes. they have all the money and all the technology, and the biggest population, but also the smallest population of heroes.

banned class: scientist
-2 int / +2 str
special: once p/day transform into an animal (your choice)
special: once p/day after being healed, your attack and speed die go up by 1 for 2 minutes in-game
special: your sense of smell is hella good

biology: legends say that the first beastmen were the offspring of a werewolf human and a werehuman monkey. beastmen look mostly like humans except with a tail, protruding canines and more body hair.

culture: beastmen live in family clans out in the wasteland, living by the laws of "survival of the fittest." beastman are angry and rude and are ruled largely by primal instinct. many beastmen are kept as slaves by the gnomes, who use microchips and shock collars to keep them in line.

cyborg/robotbanned class: wizard
(cyborg) -2 str / +2 dex, (robot) +2 str / -2 dex
special: your robot senses can detect life signs and electronics
special: (cyborg) 50% magic resistance, including healing (robot) 100% magic resistance, including healing
special: you cannot die from poison, disease or blood loss.

biology&culture: cyborgs are humans with robot organs or limbs. robots come in all shapes and sizes based on their function. science hasn't yet made a robot that can imitate a human perfectly. robots (but not cyborgs) don't eat, sleep or breathe but need an energy source 1/day
cyborgs live among humans, and feel very smug about their expensive implants. robots are servants, bestowed with exactly as much sentience as is pleasing to their owners.

banned class: soldier
+2 dex / -2 con
special: you are immune to sleep and don't need to eat
special: your elf eyes can see in low-light and can detect magic
special: regardless of class, you start with an extra level 1 spell.

biology&culture: elves do not reproduce sexually. periodically a cyber-farmer will find an extremely large fruit or a vegetable, which will hatch egg-style into a baby elf. they have big ears and cute faces, and obtain nutrition by invisibly drinking celestial juices in the astral plane.
elves exist among humans, and everyone treats this as normal, though some people are elf racists. elves reject traditional notions of family and social responsibility, spending most of their time frolicking around doing nothing. elves are always highly suspicious of other elves.

banned class: swordfighter
+2 con / -2 cha
special: you are immune to pain and fear
special: as long as your brain is intact, you can regenerate your body instantaneously. any damage you took still applies, but cuts will seal over and lost limbs will pop back out. wounds sustained by intense heat or cold cannot regenerate.
special: roll d4+1 to see how big you are (consult size table)

biology&culture: ogres are descended from the now largely-extinct goblinoid species. their body chemistry is 98% water, and their cells are similar to those of slugs, lizards and plants. human research into their famous regenerative abilities has produced fruitless results. ogres are ugly as fuck.
ogres live nomadic lives in the mountains and caves, living at peace with nature despite how radioactive it is. despite their hideous appearance, they are gentle & considerate lovers. ogres havent invented metal yet, even though it's like the year 2X4X, so everything is wood & bone craft.

jinn (or djinn, or genie, if you prefer)
banned class: thief
-2 cha / +2 wis
special: once p/day you can shift your molecule density to become ghost-like for a few moments
special: you can talk to magic; anything magical has a voice that you can hear and converse with.
special: once p/combat you can reduce incoming melee damage by d4

biology&culture: a jinn is a minor elemental forced into physical form by a lazy wizard. their body is always phase shifting between this dimension and the magical dimension next door. since their body is wizard-made, it's pretty shitty, so it falls apart in like 3 years max.
when lazy wizards need a dude to go do something, they make a binding spell to force a jinn to manifest and obey a given directive. the jinn must obey this command, but once it is complete, they are free to leave. however, they're stuck in this shitty material body until it decomposes. for this reason, jinn are usually death-seeking loners. jinn are biologically lawful due to their wizard-made bodies, and thus are adverse to crime and other chaotic activities.

banned class: monk
-2 wis / +2 int
special: +2 to craft checks
special: roll d4-1 on the size table to see how big you are
special: infravision (see heat), ultravision (use UV light ie. the sun to identify objects)

biology&culture: gnomes are cute little green dudes who live underground. gnomes do not possess souls and are actually barely sentient, but have observed complex sentience in other species and seek to replicate their behaviours.

for example, they are sexless but have taken it upon themselves to adopt gender identities, and thus it is common see little green dudes running around wearing either a dress and a wig or shorts and a fake beard. gnomes have no ethical compass and don't really see the problem with theft, murder or slavery. thus it is very common to see gnomes running away with all of your left shoes, or some other heinous crime. gnomes have barely any talent for magic, which makes them envious and greedy for magical items. to make up for it, they work double-time improving their technological prowess. gnomes live underground in cute mushroom villages.

it's so late that it's early so i'll leave it for now. next time i'll write up the 7 classes i got planned which are: